


in another world

by donotfeedthebirds



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Halloween
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-09-07 10:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20307901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donotfeedthebirds/pseuds/donotfeedthebirds
Summary: heejin and hyunjin, in every single lifetime - find each other and love each otheror,just a 2jin drabble collection





	1. soccer and kisses

"Why do I never get to see you after school?" Hyunjin asks. 

She's kicking this rock around, and Heejin worries that it'll hit someone's car, or even a person walking by.

"I mean, I know I'm busy with soccer, and basketball, track, and volleyball--" Hyunjin lists off, counting her numerous sports on her fingers, "but I'm free on Wednesdays. We can hang out on Wednesdays."

"I'm busy on Wednesdays. And Sundays. And Fridays," Heejin groans, "I waste so much time spinning around to piano. Two hours for three days every week! It's torture."

"Spinning?" Hyunjin asks with a cheeky grin. 

She twirls a little, imitating a ballerina pose by lifting her arms above her head and turning as daintily as possible. In her muddy soccer kit, it looks a little strange. They both laugh when Hyunjin stops and falters. 

"Alright, I'm a little dizzy now."

At her words, Heejin does her best to ground her, placing her hands on Hyunjin's shoulders. 

"Spinning, as in ballet," she explains, making a disgusted face at the word. "I hate it."

"Then stop doing it," Hyunjin says.

Heejin's heart twinges at how easy and straightforward Hyunjin made it seem.

"Stop ballet, and that way we can hang out every Wednesday!" The way Hyunjin sounds so excited about the possibility of spending more time together renders Heejin silent. "And if you want, you can join one of my sports so we can hang out even more!"

Heejin doesn't have the heart to tell her that it's a bit more complicated than just stopping.

For one, her parents are paying for the ballet classes. They'd be so disappointed if she just stopped - seven years of hard work and determination, of gruelling lessons, of practising the same portion over and over all for nothing. And Heejin knows ballet is everyone's dream for her. She can see it in their proud faces, can hear it in their words. The praises after every recital should make her feel good, but all they do is place even more weight on her shoulders. So she tries to avert Hyunjin's enthusiasm.

"Why don't you just hang out with your other friends?"

"They're cool, but Heej, you're my best friend." Hyunjin turns to her and smiles, the very same smile that always made Heejin's heart leap in her chest. "You can feel it, right? Our friendship is just… different. It's special. It's better."

"Yeah," Heejin says softly. She can't help but agree.

The knowledge that she's special to Hyunjin makes her inexplicably giddy. She tilts her head down, hiding her grin from Hyunjin.

"That's why I wanna hang out with you," Hyunjin continues, "no one else."

* * *

Two days later, Heejin obediently goes to her ballet lesson. But directly after the two hours of torture, she meets up with Hyunjin at the volleyball court. Hyunjin's already there with a tattered volleyball, which she passes to Heejin with ease. Heejin barely catches it, just grasps it moments before it reaches her face.

"Serve to me," Hyunjin commands, her hands clasped together, and legs bent to receive the ball. "It's easy."

"A-alright."

She's a little nervous - the way she always is whenever she's trying something new. Heejin hates not knowing whether she'd be good at something or not. Thankfully, she trusts Hyunjin not to think any worse of her if she ends up being terrible. She'll make fun of her, definitely, but she'd never actually think badly of Heejin. Taking a calming breath, she lines her arm up with the ball, focusing on Hyunjin across the court. The way Hyunjin smiles at her - all supportive and believing - makes Heejin feel like she can do anything.

She tries to imitate every time she's seen someone serve a volleyball. With her forearm, she hits the ball, but every attempt either doesn't go over the net or goes too far left or right. One even ends up going behind her.

"Try again," Hyunjin says, still positioned to receive the ball.

At this point, Heejin's forearm aches from the multiple attempts. She swears that by tomorrow, a large bruise will be covering her skin. She doesn't really want to use it anymore, so she makes a fist, ready to use it instead.

Heejin tries her best, she really does, but she ends up just sucker-punching the ball, making it fly directly to Hyunjin's face.

"Whoops."

Luckily, Hyunjin catches it on the full. She stands properly with the ball in her hands.

"Alright," she says with a nod, "maybe volleyball isn't for you."

Hyunjin pauses for a moment before her eyes sparkle. An idea must have crossed her mind, Heejin thinks, too used to Hyunjin's little quirks.

Suddenly and without warning, Hyunjin chucks the ball over the net. Seeing the ball hurtling at her, Heejin instinctively headers it back onto Hyunjin's side. Hyunjin catches it once again with ease and bursts into laughter seeing Heejin dramatically place her hand on her head, checking if she was bleeding.

"What was that for?" Heejin exclaims, angry. Now both her head and her forearm hurt.

"How do you feel about soccer?" Hyunjin asks, walking to Heejin's side of the court.

"Well, right now I don't feel anything but pain thanks to you," she jokes.

Her head's fine, but her entire forearm burns and it's so red that it looks like a sunburn. She clutches it to herself and winces at the bursts of pain when she touches it.

"How do you do this every week?"

"Practice."

Hyunjin takes her arm and presses her lips to it for just a moment. Heejin ignores how she stopped breathing the second Hyunjin's lips made contact with her skin.

"There. All better, you big baby."

Her thumb rubs over the redness - gently, as if apprehensive about hurting her - and Heejin's face crumples again, expecting pain, but stops when she realises it doesn't hurt.

"Your kiss is magic!" she exclaims. "Could you kiss my head too? It hurts sooo bad."

Smiling, Hyunjin tucks a strand of Heejin's hair behind her ear before delicately placing a kiss on Heejin's forehead. Heejin blinks rapidly, trying to figure out how - even though it's nearing the late evening - she suddenly got so warm.

"Is that better?" Hyunjin says, her voice a soft whisper just an inch away from Heejin's skin.

"N-no." Heejin curses herself for stuttering. "Maybe you have to do it again?"

Hyunjin moves even closer, and Heejin feels so warm she almost thinks she's going to combust. Hyunjin laughs before pressing her lips to her skin again.

"Mwah," she says as she pulls away, "all better."

"Thanks."

Even though they aren't touching anymore, they're so close that Heejin's tempted to return Hyunjin's kiss - just not on the forehead. 


	2. circling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the shitty continuation of 'maybe she' bc god knows ive lost pretty much all inspiration for that fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 years after the 13th chapter of 'maybe she' - fill in the gaps of what happened

Hyunjin can’t remember the details anymore. 

She cannot remember the exact positioning of the moles on Heejin’s cheek and the uncertainty eats her alive. She could look at the photos again but there’s only so much a grainy polaroid can show. It doesn’t cover even five percent of what Heejin is. 

She can’t even remember Heejin’s laugh. Was it low - raspy like her early morning voice? Or was it more airy and light, like the songs the birds sing from treetops? Hyunjin closed her eyes and racked her brain.

_ Yes, that was it _ , she thinks as sweet, joyful laughter filled her head. It was deep, but not overly so, the type of laugh that could fill rooms with happiness. Hyunjin could practically see it now, how Heejin’s eyes formed crescent moons whenever she giggled, how her smile filled her whole face.  She imagines the laughter so vividly that it almost sounds real.

Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open in realisation. It  _ is  _ real.That sound isn’t in her imagination, no, it’s coming directly from her roommate’s laptop, no less than a few metres away. 

“What is that?” Hyunjin asked, trying to make her curiosity less obvious. 

“Mixnine,” she instantly replied, not bothering to look away from the screen. “It’s another idol audition program. So you know, Produce 101 but shitty.”

“Produce  _ is  _ shitty.” 

Hyunjin jolts from her bed the second she hears that damned laughter again, her breath hitching when she catches a glimpse of her. Of Heejin.

_ God, she’s so beautiful. How could I have forgotten? _

“I didn’t know you were into idols,” her roommate mused, tilting the screen once she noticed Hyunjin was watching over her shoulder.

“I’m not,” Hyunjin says, and it’s half true. She couldn’t give less of a shit about idols, but Heejin-- she will always be the one thing Hyunjin cares about more than anything else.

The music starts playing - some foreign song Hyunjin’s heard maybe once or twice - and Hyunjin is instantly transfixed. Every time the camera focuses on Heejin, she jumps in her seat, torn between looking away or watching even more intently. And when Heejin smiles and sways her hips like that, Hyunjin knows that she could never actually tear her eyes away.

Hyunjin’s heard Heejin sing thousands of times, but rarely did she see her dancing. Watching it from the screen now, Hyunjin is a little glad of that fact. If she had, she probably would never have let her go.

* * *

Maybe she shouldn’t have told Heejin to follow her dreams.

It’s a selfish thought, and Hyunjin knows that. Still, it’s all that’s racing through her head as she sits in her dorm alone - her eyes glued to her laptop.

Hyunjin’s fist clenches as the words: “Girls’ visual top 3, BlockBerry Creative’s Jeon Heejin” go across her screen. The other contestants start complimenting her - talking about how she looks foreign, how her face is small and her eyes are big.

At this point, Hyunjin has already blown through most of the show. To be honest, she doesn’t like it much, only tolerates it for the few moments when Heejin’s on screen. 

As clips of Heejin continue to play, Hyunjin tries not to look down at her hands. She fails (like she always does) and gets hurt once more when she finds that Heejin still isn’t wearing her ring, hasn’t worn it in a long time. 

Now the silver on her own hand feels heavy. Peering down at it, Hyunjin debates whether she should take it off. It’s gotten a bit small for her in the two years since she received it - now moved to her pinky.  There was a time when Hyunjin didn’t wear it, but that was a short-lived two weeks. She had gotten too used to playing with it, twisting whenever she got nervous. When she finally put the silver band back on, it felt too right to ever take it off again.

Beside Hyunjin, her phone lights up with a notification. Without even looking at it, Hyunjin can guess that it’s from her girlfriend - no doubt to complain about how they hadn’t seen each other all week. 

[nancy: i miss you 😢]

Hyunjin feels bad about it, she really does. She hates that she can’t say the same. She hates that she can’t kiss her without wishing it were Heejin. She hates that she could never return her own girlfriend’s feelings because she’s still caught up over someone who seems perfectly fine without her. She hates feeling guilty and miserable, all while knowing that there’s only her to blame for this.

Logically, Hyunjin knows that it’s her fault. 

She knows that it’s her that pulled away from Heejin, knows that it’s her that stopped the late-night calls, that pretended she was busy on the days when Haseul and Heejin visited. She’s the one who didn’t tell Heejin that she got into a university right in the heart of Seoul, a lot closer to her than she used to be.

Hyunjin slumps onto her bed, phone pressed to her chest as she sighs. 

_ Stop thinking about her. Stop. Thinking about her will do nothing. It definitely won’t bring her back. Thinking about her… her eyes, her lips, her smile, her laughter- it isn’t healthy. _

Hyunjin’s loved Heejin for such an absurdly long time that she’s forgotten what it’s like not to love her. And now that she’s trying to make herself stop… it seems impossible. Tears well up in her eyes, but she can't let herself cry - not again, at least. She's spent too many nights crying herself to sleep.

In the end, Hyunjin doesn’t cry herself to sleep, doesn’t sleep at all.


	3. sneaking in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ever dated a girl attending a strict catholic boarding school? don't recommend

A soft giggle presses into Hyunjin's mouth, her chest filling with warmth as the light laughter vibrates against her lips. There's something about how the only sounds in the small room are them - making their breaths and whispers and giggles fill up the limited space until it seems like all they are all that exists.

It's a blissful type of privacy they practically never get to enjoy, what with Heejin's strict private school being anti-visitor, pro-curfew and all. They never really get the opportunity to spend time together.

It's difficult. 

Some nights, Hyunjin can't stand not seeing the other girl. On nights like that, she sneaks out of her bedroom and into Heejin's school's dormitory - a feat that is, to say the least, easier said than done. Hyunjin must have a thousand different scrapes on her legs by now, having grazed her knees on countless ledges and jutting bits of brick. But she'd climb any wall to reach Heejin's window. 

Difficult but worth it, Hyunjin likes to say. Especially when an adorably sleepy Heejin opens her window - clearly confused and still half asleep. It's magical, Hyunjin thinks, how Heejin's expression instantly turns to a broad smile upon seeing her.

"What are you doing here?" Heejin asks, trying to seem reprimanding but utterly failing. Hyunjin thinks it's cute how Heejin pretends not to miss her.

"Came to see you." Hyunjin tilts her head, gesturing to her arms - aching from gripping onto the metal of the window at an awkward angle. "Help me up?"

She doesn't need help - especially not from Heejin, who (while exceptional at many things) lacks the proper upper body strength to assist in lifting Hyunjin through the gap. However, it's become routine for Heejin to help her through, even becoming one of Hyunjin's favourite parts of her late night visits. There's just something so indescribably cute about it - from the way Heejin's face scrunches up, to the tight grip Hyunjin feels on her wrist.

It's always hard to fit through the window. After all, they weren't exactly built to accomodate teenage girls slipping in and out. Something comparably challenging is kissing a pair of lips curved into a grin - but Hyunjin does it anyway, once, twice, then three times until the hands that are holding on to her wrists push back. 

"The headmistress will find you here," Heejin tells her as soon their lips separate. Her hands make their way onto Hyunjin's shoulders, keeping the distance between them.

Her voice doesn't sound as worried as the words would otherwise merit - more of a casual observation than a real warning. They both know the headmistress adores Heejin too much to expel her, in any case, so Hyunjin doesn't take it seriously, choosing instead to pepper soft kisses onto Heejin's jaw.

"Hyunjin," Heejin whines, dragging out the i before suddenly gasping when Hyunjin nips the junction of her neck, the sound making Hyunjin laugh into her skin. "I'm being serious. She'll start her patrols soon."

"Let her find me," she whispers into the column of Heejin's neck. "I'm serious. Lend me one of your uniforms, and we can pretend I go here."

"You're ridiculous," Heejin says, laughing lightly.

"Ridiculously in love," Hyunjin retorts - her chest filling with joy at the sound of Heejin's laughter. 


	4. expectations

Heejin and Hyunjin had been friends for years (2 years, 4 months, and 7 days to be exact) before they had finally got their shit together and started dating. And in that time, Heejin would like to think that she had gotten to know the other girl pretty well. Heejin knew all of Hyunjin's fears and insecurities, all of the little secrets she'd never told anyone else. And Heejin was proud of her title as the person Hyunjin was closest to.

She liked to think that she had Hyunjin all figured out. Boy, was she dead wrong. 

For one, Heejin figured that Hyunjin wouldn’t be embarrassed at public displays of affection. After all, they had held hands, linked arms, and hugged all the time when they were just friends! But as it turned out, now that they were officially together, anything more than a brush of their hands in public would make a blush rise to Hyunjin’s cheeks. 

Heejin remembered testing it out one day, daring to press a quick kiss to Hyunjin’s cheek in front of their friends. 

Underneath her lips, she felt Hyunjin start to heat up. Hyunjin laughed awkwardly and took hold of her hand, underneath the table to hide the action from their friends’ eyes, of course. Heejin found her reaction adorable and couldn’t help staring at her beautiful girlfriend, even when Hyunjin squeezed her hand to remind her that other people were around and Yeojin fake-gagged at how mushy they were. 

“Shut up,” Hyunjin muttered, annoyed by Yeojin’s over-the-top teasing, “you’re just jealous because I have a girlfriend and you’re still single.”

Yeojin poked her tongue out at Hyunjin, making Hyunjin pretend to lunge at her and everyone at the table laugh. _ Some things never change,_ Heejin thought fondly, glad that Yeojin and Hyunjin’s friendship was the same as always.

* * *

There were other things that shocked Heejin too - like how Hyunjin always sang in the shower in the mornings, the way she'd let Heejin eat some of the food off her plate but not anyone else, her fierce protectiveness.

Heejin’s personal favourite was the fact that Hyunjin actually enjoyed being the little spoon. Even though she was taller, Hyunjin adored the feeling of Heejin's arms wrapped around her - not that Hyunjin would ever admit that out loud of course. It was insanely endearing how much Hyunjin loved to be held and cuddled, and Heejin loved to oblige, showering her girlfriend with affection whenever possible.

But the biggest surprise happened when the two found themselves at a house party - with Sooyoung as the host, as per usual. 

See, Heejin had expected for Hyunjin to be the jealous type. Hyunjin had always acted jealous when they weren’t together yet - annoyed whenever Jiwoo took up all of Heejin’s attention, or envious when Heejin went out on blind dates or other social outings without her. 

Once, Jiwoo had proclaimed that Heejin was her best friend and Hyunjin didn’t talk to either of them for days. Following that, Heejin just assumed that this jealous streak would continue in their relationship, preemptively accepting it. 

Sooyoung’s party was celebrating the end of the semester - the gruelling finals week having just ended the Friday prior. Since Sooyoung’s apartment was close to campus and everyone seemed to know her, the place was packed with students from pretty much every year group and subject. 

Parties weren’t something either of them attended often, neither of them really cared about the free booze and _other _substances that frequented occasions like this. And if they wanted to socialise, it wouldn’t be too hard to set up a movie night with the few people they actually wanted to see. 

Maybe there were worse ways to spend her Sunday night, but Heejin couldn’t think of one. She didn’t really enjoy all the drunken yelling, or the dancing that was more rubbing against each other than anything else. _ The song was tacky, purely a beat to dance to, and the beat wasn’t even that good_, she thought bitterly - and she could’ve sworn it was the third time it had played over the speakers. 

She had also lost Hyunjin in the crowd not too long ago, which only dampened her mood. Jungeun and Jiwoo left a while ago too - so Heejin felt all alone. 

Heejin met eyes with a boy across the room - one she vaguely recognised from one of her classes. He was handsome and well-dressed, maybe someone she would’ve been interested in if she weren’t so happy with Hyunjin. 

He walked over to her with a smile, offering her one of the drinks he was holding. She drank mostly out of politeness and because she couldn’t excuse herself, as it was obvious she didn’t have anywhere else to be. 

He seemed nice, if a bit boring. All he could think of talking about was how difficult the Japanese exam was - _ oh, so we do share a class! _ \- and whether or not Heejin had studied much. And if Heejin remembered correctly, he had a boyfriend (studying Physics, a little taller than him, a year above) so there wasn’t any harm in chatting. 

So when his voice turned flirty and his gaze went lower than her eyes, Heejin was more confused than anything. 

“How’s your boyfriend?" 

He stiffened. “We broke up last week. Apparently, I’m less important than exams.” He rolled his eyes, but seemed to push his annoyance down to turn on the “charm” once more. He stepped closer, too close for Heejin’s comfort. “I’ve been meaning to get back out there. Meet some new people. Find someone I liked. I actually came over here because I wanted to ask if you--”

“Oh, there you are!” Heejin’s favourite voice called out, just a few metres away if Heejin had to guess. “I was looking for you!" 

Turning her head to the direction of the voice, Heejin was glad to see Hyunjin walking towards them - two drinks in her hand. Once she got to them, Heejin took one of the drinks, swapping the drink he had given her for it, and sipped it.

“This is Hyunjin,” she told him. “My girlfriend." 

His eyes went wide and he stammered out an introduction, making it very clear that he had just been flirting with her. Heejin felt a little bad for him. She waited for Hyunjin’s response - for her to get angry, stake her claim, anything to showcase her jealousy. But instead, she smiled at him - offering him the other drink in her hand.

“No,” he denied a little too quickly, “I, uh, actually need to go. Right now. I need to go right now." 

“Alright?”

As soon as he was out of earshot, she shot a puzzled look at Heejin. “You know some _weird _people, babe,” she said, completely nonplussed by the situation.

“He was flirting with me,” Heejin pointed out, because if the years of them pining over each other were anything to go by, Hyunjin could miss even the most obvious of cues.

“Yeah, obviously,” Hyunjin said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not dumb. You’re pretty!” 

“But…” Heejin tilted her head in confusion. She hadn’t expected Hyunjin being so blase and unaffected about it.

“But?”

“I expected you to get jealous,” Heejin admitted. “You were always jealous before we got together.”

Hyunjin shrugged. “Yeah, _ before. _We’re together now.” A soft smile came on Hyunjin’s lips as she trailed her fingers down Heejin’s arm and gently took hold of her hand. “I trust you. And if he sees how great you are and hits on you, all that means is that he has good taste.”

Heejin couldn’t help it - pressing up on her tiptoes to press a kiss onto Hyunjin’s lips. Pulling away, she laughed as she watched Hyunjin’s face turn red with embarrassment.

“You never fail to surprise me,” she told Hyunjin fondly. “Come on, we can go home now.”


	5. dog park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt from cc: hyunjin lonely and bored spends time at local dog park where heejins dog takes a liking to her.... you can guess the rest

Hyunjin's bored out of her mind. In times like this, she used to have her roommate to entertain her - annoying Chaewon’s one of Hyunjin’s favourite pastimes - but recently Chaewon has been spending less and less time in their dorm. Probably off spending time with Hyejoo (Chaewon’s first-year girlfriend that she met in the class she was repeating), Hyunjin thinks to herself.

Hyunjin rattles her brain for anything to do, looking around her pretty-empty room._ I could unpack some more things_, Hyunjin thinks, before wincing at the idea. Having to rummage through her messily packed things and somehow find places to put it which don’t interfere with Chaewon’s abundance of belongings did _ not _ sound appealing. 

Her eyes eventually settle on her desk, where a pile of textbooks and half-done assignments sat, waiting to be worked on. Hyunjin shrugs, finding the idea of studying at least marginally better than unpacking. _ Might as well. _

Sitting on her cheap excuse of a desk chair, Hyunjin pushes out with her leg and idly makes herself spin. Out of sheer boredom, Hyunjin had even placed a pen under her nose and had been balancing it there for over a minute. She really can’t focus when things are this quiet. She sighs to herself.

After one last attempt (which was more Hyunjin staring blankly at the pages she was meant to read), she finally gave up. Determined to at least get _ something _ done today, Hyunjin picks up her things and goes out to try and find a place to study.

That's how Hyunjin finds herself at the dog park. It's nice there - people are constantly walking and jogging past, talking with their friends, or out playing with their dogs. Exactly the type of background sound that she needs to buckle down and actually get some work done. 

But before she can even open up her textbook, Hyunjin hears a small bark right by her foot. 

Looking down, she sees a small dog. It has a light brown colour to its fur as if it'd been rolling around in the dirt path before it made its way to Hyunjin, its fur even lighter (almost pinkish) by its belly. Its tail's wagging so fast that Hyunjin can barely see it, and the way it's jumping up to get Hyunjin's attention is especially endearing - especially when coupled with that dumb dopey look on its face. Cute. 

Gingerly, Hyunjin picks up the small creature. She’s a bit cautious since she has a tiny fear of dogs (a big, aggressive one chased her when she was little and she's never been the same since), but one this size doesn't seem so intimidating. Small things had never scared Hyunjin since she knows that she can fight them off easily.

"Hey!" a girl shouts out, stomping over to Hyunjin. A really, really pretty girl. 

Hyunjin doesn’t really know what to say to the stranger yelling at her. "Hi?"

"You're trying to steal Lucky!" she accuses, pointing to Hyunjin in fury. 

In the back of her head, Hyunjin knows that she's trying to be intimidating, with her fists at her sides and eyebrows scrunched up in anger but -- again, small things never scare Hyunjin. Her frown even looked like a pout, Hyunjin thinks, slightly smiling at the fact that the girl is much cuter than she is scary.

The girl tearing the dog - Lucky, Hyunjin guesses - and glaring at her immediately brings Hyunjin out of her thoughts. 

"What?"

* * *

Hyunjin sees the two of them every day now. The dog park's a good place to study and it's been helping her fear calm down a little. And she'd be lying if she didn't look forward to seeing them.

After clearing up the misunderstanding (no, Hyunjin definitely wasn't planning on stealing a dog - her lease didn't allow pets anyway), they had introduced themselves to each other and actually found they were in the same year. They even shared some of the same classes!

As it turns out, Heejin - Lucky's owner - is actually pretty nice when she isn't accusing people of dog theft, and funny too. Whenever she passes Hyunjin on her daily dog walk, she would always stop to chat about something random, ask about how her day was, make a dumb joke that Hyunjin almost never laughed at. 

On her way to the park, Hyunjin stops at her favourite bakery. Well, the bakery’s actually pretty far from the park but she had been wanting Heejin to try her favourite bread, so Hyunjin pretends its on her way. Buying the two buns, Hyunjin smiles to herself thinking about how cutely Heejin would probably react to its sweet taste.

Hyunjin walks to the park and, upon arriving, quickly settles at the area where she always sat. All of her assignments have been finished for ages, but really Hyunjin just uses studying as an excuse to see Heejin. And Lucky, of course. 

Heejin comes around the same time she always does, with Lucky trailing behind her. Upon seeing Hyunjin though, Lucky speeds up into a half-run and ends up pulling Heejin along.

Hyunjin hands her the bun and - as expected - the second she bites in, her eyes widen in surprise. “This is seriously good!” Heejin lets out, words almost unintelligible due to her still chewing. Impatient, Heejin takes yet another bite and Hyunjin chuckles at how cute she is with the frosting on her cheek.

Hyunjin just ate an hour ago so she isn’t that hungry (in all honesty, she bought the buns just for Heejin to taste). She splits it into two, handing one half to Heejin and tearing up the other half to give to the birds. The moment the birds come towards them though, Heejin is terrified, and Hyunjin spends the rest of the afternoon shooing away birds and hurriedly trying to give the tore-up pieces to Lucky instead. 

_ Note to self_, Hyunjin thinks as Heejin cowers behind her, _ do _ not _ feed the birds. _

Still, having Heejin close to her like this is kinda nice - and Lucky chasing the birds away is cute too. 

* * *

"I didn't know dogs needed to be walked daily," Hyunjin muses, letting Lucky lick her hand. "Have you owned Lucky for long?"

"Ah," Heejin says, looking a bit sheepish. "Actually... I don't own Lucky. I'm allergic to fur."

Hyunjin's shocked. "What?"

"My friend asked me to talk him out for a walk one time and I saw you--" Heejin blushes, tilting her head down in embarrassment. "I wanted an excuse to keep talking to you so-- I hope you don't think I'm weird! I just wanted to get to know you..."

Hyunjin laughs. She thinks Heejin's really cute, all flustered like that. And if a pretty girl would go through all that trouble for her, what's the problem with talking a little more? Hyunjin rips a page out of her notebook and writes out her number. 

"Here." She holds it out. "you don't need an excuse to text."


	6. treat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> late halloween thingy
> 
> from cc prompt "2jin going trick or treating"

Hyunjin really shouldn't have been surprised when Heejin turned up to her door wearing a Naruto costume. A way too realistic one. It was of the sand dude, if she remembered correctly, the one Heejin kept pointing out and saying was awesome whenever she forced Hyunjin to watch.

It was embarrassing to admit, but Hyunjin thought the short red wig and thick eyeliner to match the sand dude's intense eyes kinda looked good on Heejin. Then again, Hyunjin's crush on the shorter girl made it impossible for Heejin to _not_ look good. The costume was actually kind of impressive, obvious that Heejin had put a lot of effort into making it.

"His name's Gaara!" Heejin whined, after Hyunjin introduced her as 'the sand dude' to her brother who was eating the candy meant for kids trick-or-treating. "Anyways, that doesn't matter- where's your costume?" She frowned at Hyunjin's all-black attire.

"This _is_ my costume." Hyunjin turned around, showing the small tail pinned to her skinny jeans. She would've worn her _actual_ tail, but its vibrant purple colour didn't match the black cat ears she had recently bought for this very occasion, which she just now slipped on. "Let's go," Hyunjin said, gesturing to the door.

"No way!" Heejin huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "I can't walk around with you looking like that-- I look like I'm friends with a furry!"

"You _are_. And I'm friends with a weeb." Hyunjin frowned, letting out a deep sigh. "We both lose."

* * *

"That's not fair!" Heejin shouted, stomping her foot in annoyance after yet another house refused to give them candy, saying they were too old to be trick-or-treating. "I worked hard on this, you know!"

As funny as Heejin being annoyed was (it was very funny, annoying Heejin was one of Hyunjin's favourite pastimes), Heejin being legitimately _upset_ was horrible. And Hyunjin knew if she let Heejin keep ranting - "I mean, there's worse things we could be doing! God knows what goes on during Vivi's Halloween parties!" - Heejin would quickly become just that.

Hyunjin rattled her brain, trying to come up with a quick solution, until "Ask me," Hyunjin interrupted.

Heejin stared at her blankly. "What?" she asked, incredulous.

"Ask me. You know 'trick or treat?" Heejin looked confused, but did it anyway.

"Trick or treat?"

"Treat!" Hyunjin said, leaning in to land a surprise kiss on Heejin's soft lips. Her eyes came to a close the instant they made contact, savouring in the feeling. The sweetest candy she's ever had.

_Yeah, this is the best Halloween ever_, Hyunjin thought, laughing as she pulled away and Heejin moved back in to kiss her again.


	7. when you fall alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just part of an idolverse fic i'm working on since i felt bad for not updating /anything/ :P
> 
> is this pg? i really tried to tame it i swear,,

They kissed. It was just a short peck - Heejin was too tired to even remember, but Hyunjin couldn’t get it out of her head. It was just a usual night. They were both tired after training and in usual Heejin fashion, she said a short goodnight to Hyunjin before climbing up the ladder to her bunk. 

Hyunjin didn’t know what it was, had some unnameable feeling bubbling up in her chest for a while. And that feeling somehow translated into her moving her cheek as Heejin jokingly kissed her goodnight, her lips touching Heejin’s for a fraction of a second. It was warm, and soft, and  _ everything.  _ But nothing to Heejin. No, Heejin didn’t even seem to notice that Hyunjin’s entire world had shifted, mumbling a final goodnight and flopping into her bed, eyes closing immediately. 

“I love you, Hyunjin,” Heejin mumbled into her pillow. Like she hadn't even planned for Hyunjin to hear. Maybe she didn’t. 

Hyunjin lay in her bed for what felt like hours trying to piece it all together. What was this feeling in her chest? Why did it feel like something was bursting inside of her? Why did she want to scream? 

Everything made sense and yet nothing did. She had her suspicions as to why she felt differently towards Heejin, but she thought it was just because Heejin was a little older or simply because of that inexplicable admiration again. And ‘I love you’? So suddenly?

Hyunjin didn't understand it, not at all, not when she pressed her fingers against her lips trying to relive the momentary kiss they’d shared, not when she let out a whispered “I love you too, Heejin” in response. 

Maybe she wasn't meant to understand. 

* * *

They kissed again. And again. Sometimes when Heejin was drunk, too tipsy to control her actions yet still sober enough to break Hyunjin's heart with how little she seemed to care.

As always, the day after Hyunjin found herself looking for any sign that things had changed.

Hyunjin looked at Heejin, trying to see any differences in the other girl. She expected shame, maybe Heejin’s brown eyes connecting with Hyunjin’s, pleading with her not to mention what happened in order to not have to deal with questions of her sexuality or how she felt about Hyunjin. But she saw nothing like that. She didn’t see Heejin’s knuckles whiten from clenching her phone, saw no tenseness in her movements. She heard no falseness in her voice when Heejin laughed at whatever she was scrolling through. It was like nothing had happened the night before.

Hyunjin, in her haze of confusion after a night of drinking, decided that it didn’t happen. It was probably just a dream. Of course, Heejin would never kiss her like that. She was an idiot for thinking that'd happened. But it seemed so _real_.

Hyunjin started on her morning routine - brushing her teeth, checking her phone, other boring things - until she caught a glimpse of herself. Looking into the mirror of the vanity, she saw things that proved last night couldn’t have been a dream. First was the smudge of Heejin’s lipstick, a colour Hyunjin didn’t wear, against her kiss-swollen lips. It mixed with Hyunjin’s own lipstick, making a shade of dark pink that made Hyunjin’s heart flutter against her ribcage because of how uniquely them it was. Looking down, she saw hints of the lipstick on her neck and lower still. 

Hyunjin felt her cheeks warm as they pinkened at the memory of how Heejin kissed her, how Hyunjin couldn’t do much except for keep deathly still (for fear that too much movement would cause her to stop). Like the pink of her cheeks, a similar pigment coloured her stomach (and back too probably, considering how badly it ached), reminders of Heejin’s nails scratching her skin. She shuddered at the memory of how it felt before risking a glance at Heejin.

Hyunjin didn’t turn around, merely looking at the mirror at an angle where Heejin was visible. Now that she had evidence that last night did in fact happen, she wondered why it was so easy to Heejin to pretend that nothing happened when to Hyunjin it felt like everything had. Maybe she didn’t remember (she really was very drunk last night, having downed several shots of something strong the second they entered the party) or maybe it just didn’t matter as much to her as it did to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin’s heart ached at the thought that all she'd felt wasn’t reciprocated. That even though it meant the world to her, it meant nothing to Heejin. She felt dirty, nothing more than a secret to be kept. She knew love wasn’t supposed to feel like this, but unfortunately that’s all it could be.

* * *

Things went on like this even after their debut. 

One part of Hyunjin was delighted, because having Heejin for those small moments made her heart swoon in her chest, made her mind-numbingly happy. Another screamed at her for being such a fool, for allowing herself to be used, for never asking Heejin if she felt anything towards Hyunjin more than the occasional desire that inevitably led to their entanglements.

Haseul and Vivi had to have known but neither said anything. Hyunjin could have sworn that when Haseul locked eyes with her after seeing Heejin waking up and going to her own bed Haseul looked sad for her, but that look could have meant anything. Maybe Hyunjin just wanted someone to feel bad for her, wanted someone to see how much she was hurting and actually care. Presumably, Heejin also saw how much she was hurting - she had to see how distraught Hyunjin was every time she didn’t say a word - and yet Heejin didn’t ever change.

* * *

There’s something uniquely romantic about unrequited love. You love them not because you get anything in return - besides pain, that is - but just because you do. Hyunjin wonders to herself if that makes her love for Heejin pure, and if so, why she feels so disgusting.

Haseul and Vivi are getting worried about her, their observant natures picking up on her difference in attitude almost immediately. How she talks a little less, laughs quieter, smiles smaller.

It’s really nothing to worry about. Hyunjin just feels more tired these days - emotionally and physically. It’s easy to blame their now-busy schedules. She hardly says a word to the other girls before entering her room, wanting to spend the days alone in silence.

* * *

After days of replying that she’s fine to their prying questions, she simply lets herself cry. Haseul was surprisingly helpful - letting her talk for hours about it all.

Of course, she changed Heejin’s name to a male name, referred to her with “he”. 

It’s not that she doesn’t trust Haseul (actually she would trust her with her life) or that she’s particularly ashamed of her love of Heejin. It’s only because she wanted to keep it a secret for Heejin, sure that their romance - if she could even call it that - would be a source of shame for the older girl. At least, that’s how she made Hyunjin feel. Unwanted. 

She admits as much to Haseul, explaining how disgusting she felt for letting herself be used but still succumbing the next time. She explains how much it ached to wake up alone, nothing different in her bunk except for Heejin’s lingering perfume - changed to “cologne” when she said it - and the memories of how it felt.

Haseul wiped away Hyunjin’s tears tenderly, letting Hyunjin lean on her shoulder as her sobs turned into silence. “I want to stop - stop loving him and move on - but it’s not that easy. He makes it impossible not to love him. He makes it impossible for me to imagine a future without him.” A summer wedding on the beach. A spring wedding in a little church. Anything would be perfect as long as it was Heejin by her side. But that would obviously never happen. “He- he doesn’t feel the same way,” she states, “he never will.”

Haseul’s hand on her back stops its soothing circular motions for a moment before resuming again. Hyunjin can hear Haseul’s heartbeat quicken, her breathing falter, like she’s holding herself back from speaking. Hyunjin looks up and sees an exhausted smile on her face. 

“You okay?” Hyunjin asks. Haseul moves her head so her hair falls in front of her eyes, a thing she always does so her tears aren’t visible. “Oh, Haseul--” They switch roles, now Hyunjin collects Haseul into her arms to comfort her. 

“It’s just-” she falters, wincing at how her teary voice sounds -”oh, God. I’m so sorry.” Haseul starts to laugh, wiping at her tears with her sleeve. “I didn’t mean to make this about me.” Her smile gets wider but it still doesn’t reach her eyes. 

“Tell me anyway.”

“It’s just, I-I can relate sort of.” Haseul sighs. Her eyes are no longer looking at Hyunjin, instead looking all around to avoid Hyunjin’s searching eyes. “It really sucks, Hyun.”

“But we do it anyway.”   


“We love them anyway.”

They spend the rest of the night talking about their respective loves. Although their circumstances are wholly different, the feelings of heart-wrenching desire are all the same, and it feels good to talk about it. Letting it all out, the frustrations as well as the good moments, was healing in a way. 

She found someone who sympathised with how she felt, who nodded and related when she spoke of how it hurt, and who shared her sad smiles when she spoke of the few good moments when she allowed herself to pretend it was real. 

The days where she woke up before Heejin, with the older girl still in her arms. Sometimes she’d let herself stare at her, how the sunrays perfectly illuminated each crevice of her lovely face, how her mouth was ever so slightly open. Sometimes Hyunjin would pretend that they were actually together. But when Heejin woke up she would immediately return to her own bed and that illusion shattered just like Hyunjin’s heart. 

“Some lucky days I wake up before he gets up and leaves me all alone. He looks like an angel when he’s asleep, all the stress is gone and he looks so much younger. Sometimes, I hold him closer and pretend he doesn’t want to leave.”

Haseul shared her own stories too. Hyunjin tried not to think of how familiar they sounded, as if she knew exactly who it was. She talks of feeling like her heart is going to explode, how it feels like her lungs might explode too if she doesn’t yell her love aloud. She talks of crying silently in her room inconsolably, her only solace imagining a perfect future with a person she can’t have. She speaks so fragilely of a loneliness and pain they both know - and it’s so real that Hyunjin’s holding back tears. She talks of feeling ruined, of wondering if her love had any idea that Haseul was suffering because of them. 

Hyunjin doesn’t overlook her choice of words. She pays attention to each “them”, how she hesitates as if searching for the words. Haseul slips up once, “She’s just so-” before she freezes up, her eyes wide with shock. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin falters. “It’s fine.” 

‘I’m talking about a girl too.’ is what Hyunjin wants to say, but she thinks it might be too much information at once. 

In the following days, Hyunjin decides not to ask Haseul about why her gaze lingers on Vivi when they dance. She decides that it’s none of her business why Haseul laughs a little harder at Vivi’s jokes, why Haseul blushes more at Vivi’s compliments. Unless Haseul tells her herself, she’ll keep her observations to herself. She can only imagine how embarrassing it would be if she came up to her knowing she was talking about Heejin the entire time. 

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me about 2jin or tell me what to write next?  
twitter/cc: @choerrytmt


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